It seems that wherever we turn there is some ad or another trying to sell men and women alike not just a product, but also a lifestyle. It is the easiest thing in the world to sit back and let these and the opinions of your peers dictate who you should be. It has been a recurring theme on Peas and Queues that whatever we finally decide, and not anytime soon, is the best description of etiquette it will not be easy. Being a good person fluent in the rule of etiquette takes more work than most are willing to admit and the first part of that work is scrutinizing what you have been told on the subject. Most reasonable people are aware that most of what they do and see others do around them is not the absolute best of behaviour. Instead what we get is only that which is acceptable.

So who do we turn to when we are ready to start educating and refining ourselves in the world of etiquette? There is an intimidating body of literature on the subject spanning more than a century. The trouble is most of it is outdated and the more contemporary stuff is not very much better. Besides books you can always turn to your elders, I am sure they would love to talk your ear off on the matter, but ultimately for every source you consult you will get just as many answers in return. The only hope you have is to rely on both your own honest intentions and your best judgement. If you are still reading this then your intentions to refine yourself are in good shape. If you take everything I say at face value then your best judgement is not. My project here is to provide you with the best reasoned source of etiquette and self improvement but I hold no illusions that no mistakes will be made along the way.

So far, I admit, I have been somewhat noncommittal in recommending a definitive source for the aspiring gentleman to turn to. The truth is there is no one such source. One day, hopefully not so long from now, Peas and Queues will be that source, but for the moment we are still in the learning process. We are dedicated to being that one go to source for etiquette and self refinement.