This post could easily be titled “Where are ladies not found anymore?”  This post is meant to point out the social faux pas that ladies all over the world today are constantly committing. Because being a lady isn’t just for garden parties and the ponies.

On the Bus: Specifically in regards to P’s and Q’s

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This is a call to those who don’t thank the bus driver.  Please thank the bus driver.  It rarely happens anymore, and you look so classy doing it.

This is also a call to those who do not try to move to the back of the bus.  Please move to the back of the bus.  Those who can’t, need to stay at the front, and you are able bodied.  You look so classy moving to the back of the bus, giving up your seat for those who require it.

The Bar: Specifically in regards to Outlandish Actions

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There really needs to be a resurgence in women treating themselves with dignity at bars.  No judging, really.  If being topless and inebriated in a public place is your thing, please by all means continue to do it.  But please, do not come looking for my support in your declaration of womanhood.*  And really, I’m not trying to abandon you as a lady or anything, I promise.  But until that magical time when men and women are allowed to conduct themselves in the same way without being slandered for being a ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘whore’ or any of those other short and derogatory words often found exclusively pertaining to women of gender, do not do anything to encourage unwanted or unnecessary attention to yourself, or other ladies who just want to have a nice time out without fear of having their personal bubble erupted.  Real ladies socialize with respect for themselves and others in public and are able to woo a potential mate with exceptional conversation, and not an exceptional spectacle.  This is something that I personally need to work on.  I would look so much classier after a glass or two…

With your Electronic Devices: Specifically in regards to your volume

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Those around you do not need to know what you are having for dinner tonight, nor the details about the current fight you are having with your boyfriend/girlfriend/cat/mother/father/brother/sister or pastor.  Although your cellphone is your private device, oftentimes you do not use it in private spaces.  In order to be truly lady-like when using your cell phone, conduct yourself with decorum.  And if you lose your temper in public, at the very least hang up and turn your cell phone off until you have calmed down and are able to call back in a private space.  You would look so classy doing this, even if you were blistering angry for a very good reason.  You do not look classy.

Your music should also not be loud enough for others to hear it.  And unless you’re trying to share Beethoven’s 9th Symphony with the world, hearing loss is not classy.  Classical Music does not the classy lady make.

Shopping: Specifically in regards to Sales Associates

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Retail and customer service jobs reiterate that “The Customer is Always Right”, and that you as a shopper are entitled to be treated like some sort of god/goddess.  Sometimes you might not get the service that you like or expect from a certain employee or store and are unsatisfied to the point of boiling over.  What to do, what to do? I cannot emphasize this enough: Do not yell or be mean to anyone behind a counter.  They won’t like you very much.  And although you may think that getting really angry will get you what you want, chances are it won’t.  It will just make you angry, and not want to go back.  After working in retail, I can attest that customers who lodge formal complaints politely, get far more back and insinuate much more positive change within the retail environment.  The policies that bother you are in place because it makes it fair to everyone else shopping.  If you don’t like the rules at a certain establishment?  Make everyone happy, and don’t shop there.  Or lodge a formal complaint.  Please, don’t make a scene.  It is embarrassing for everyone.  You do not look classy.

Have I missed anything crucial?

*To be honest, this paragraph might be a bit biased.  I’m not 100% sure how I feel about ladies being topless in public.  I’m not sure that it’s appropriate.  That being said, I don’t think it’s appropriate for men to go topless in public either.  Men, you can’t do anything special with them like feed babies.  Why are you showing them off?